Okay, so I took Steeven to school yesterday morning to go over all the results of the tests they did a couple of weeks ago. By the way the ladies at Brandon Elementary that work in this department are wonderful, just had to say that. Anyway, I wasn't feeling the best which I guess is an understatement since following this appointment I went to the doctor who told me my allergies were causing drainage in my throat and, oh ya, I had strep!!
Back to my origianl story. I was at a little circle table with four other ladies, OT, PT, Speech and the director and we all had the same papers in front of us as each lady talked about their part about Steevie. I was doing fine, rolling right along when we came to a page that had his name written out, Steeven I. Christensen. Do any of you catch that? Look again! Even as I type this I am getting choked up, because of the visual, Steeven I. Christensen.
When I had origianlly met with these ladies I expressed my desire for him to learn to write his name as it would be after the adoption is final and we can get his name changed. For some reason I wasn't expecting any reaction, I mean really why would I have a reaction during a meeting like this? Well I did and and it was a big one! Sobbing with a hoarse and very sore throat and I don't think many of the ladies had a dry eye after they realized what my "problem" was. All I could do was point to the paper, because no words would come out, and at first they thought there was an error which would mean I am a freak to react in such a way to an error on the page.
Today as I have thought about this I have been wondering why this is so important to me. Isn't it funny how we, mostly women, can be so sensitive to the littlest of things/details? Don't get me wrong, Wade sees the importance of the name, but wow is all I can say about my reaction. I love that God made me sensitive, he might have overdone it a little but who am I to tell God that :). It seems to have gotten worse over the years, after children that is. The more kids we have the easier I cry! I have to wrap this up because my throat burns everytime I get choaked up, which is why besides being busy I have been working at this post since this morning and it is now 5:00pm.
Okay, so what I am saying is that seeing Steeven's name the way it will be someday really brought out my emotions. Steeven I. Christensen was given to us as a gift from God, just like our other kids, only the way that God planned it carries special significance to me I guess, please don't "hear" what I am not saying. It does for the other three kids as well. They prayed for him for over two years, that he would be part of their family soon. For the first couple fo months Abby would say to God, "Thank you that Steeven is so crazy", meaning wild. She loved it, go figure! When God makes me wait for something I always learn more about myself, see changes I need to make, and then appreciate whatever it finally happens. Obviously I am a slow learner because most of the things between God and I take ahwile to come about. Oh well, he loves me anyway!
The significance in a name is unique to each individual. In my family we gave Jordyn the middle name Lee, which is mine and my mother's. Abby is Abigail Mae, my grandfather's name is Gail, my grandma's name was Ida Mae, and Wade's moms' middle name is Mae. Wade and his dads' middle names are Dean so that is Carter's middle name as well. Steeven's given name is Steevenson Herman Israel, we will give him the name Steeven Israel Christensen. We are keeping the spelling of his first name that way because it is unique and so is he. His birth mother is a very special lady and will always hold a special place in our hearts. I hope that she would be proud of our decision.
Friday, March 26, 2010
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
God's Love
Yesterday my step-mom, which I do hate calling her that, Valinda, called me to share her observations of our new family and God's love. I have had this thought many times during the adoption process as well. It was great for her to share with me though.
Today as one of my daycare boys came in the house, Steeven got so excited, even giddy. Abby made the best comment ever, "Steeven is a bundle of joy!" She really said that, what a great kid. God has really blessed me in that area. All four of them are truely wonderful. Of course they all have their moments, just like the rest of us, but really they are great kids. To see how they have taken Steeven and loved him like he has always been here is remarkable. This is not lost on me. It comes to mind daily and my thoughts go to God, who has prearranged all of this.
What must he think as he looks down and sees his plan in motion? When I think of something and follow through with it and it goes well I am pretty pleased with myself, you know. I wonder if he feels that way? Well he is God so he doesn't have the problem with selfish pride. He is probably proud of his creation, being us, and I can feel him smiling at me. Like when one of my kids does something great and I think, wow he/she is really something.
Back to God's love. It really is hard to comprehend how much God loves us and why he even does. We are broken and messed up and aren't even his blood relative yet he has offered us an equal place in his family and his unconditional love. Adoption is the closest earthly comparison for me. Going through the paper process was one thing, but actually having Steevie here is another. It gives me an even greater understanding of God's love.
I had many thoughts that would run through my head about what it would be like when we brought Steeven home. Would it be instant love, would the kids do all right together, would he be accepting of us, would he even like me, would I be willing to parent him like he needs or not want to make him sad? When we met Steeven in the airport I must say that none of these thoughts went through my head, it was like he was finally with us and life was continuing on without really missing a beat. He loved us, responded to us and the feeling was very mutual. When the kids met each other there was a short time of just realizing that he was actaully here, after over two years of them being dedicated to praying for him it was actually real now. Carter struggled some with what to do about Steeven's runny nose and eyes, but he got over that rather quickly. I would find myself wondering what they must be thinking and how they could just love him without being able to fully grasp what was happening. I think as adults we do think too much about things sometimes. Kids just "do" and it comes naturally. My prayer for myself I guess would be that God would help me in that area. I think waaaaaaaaay too much sometimes and it wastes a lot of my time.
Now to Steeven, what a kid! All that he has been through and experienced and yet I can see how in God's infinite wisdom Steeven has been prepared for all of this. God has given Steeven such a personality that he just rolls with the flow, so to speak. He was the only kid, or adult for that matter, where he lived that wasn't terrified of the earhtquake. That's right, he even liked it. He enjoyed his trip to Miami and has been enjoying things ever since. The only two things that are "bad" to him are the dog and the hospital. The dog is growing on him though. I did pray that God would be doing this, getting all of us ready for what was to come, and he is a faithful God who listens to his children. I am so thankful.
Now, having said all of this, I have to say that I am not going into this journey blindly. God does not tell us that when we follow where he leads us everything will go smoothly. Just look at Steeven's hospital experience and the families/income I have lost from daycare. I do know though, that God will see us through all of this and he knows what is yet to come.
Thank you God for your love and how you have shown us the importance of adoption as you have done it with us. What an example you have set for us! I am also thankful that you have given me a little glimpse of your love through the way we love Steeven, my son. Help us to be aware that how we live our lives is an example to others as well. Amen.
Today as one of my daycare boys came in the house, Steeven got so excited, even giddy. Abby made the best comment ever, "Steeven is a bundle of joy!" She really said that, what a great kid. God has really blessed me in that area. All four of them are truely wonderful. Of course they all have their moments, just like the rest of us, but really they are great kids. To see how they have taken Steeven and loved him like he has always been here is remarkable. This is not lost on me. It comes to mind daily and my thoughts go to God, who has prearranged all of this.
What must he think as he looks down and sees his plan in motion? When I think of something and follow through with it and it goes well I am pretty pleased with myself, you know. I wonder if he feels that way? Well he is God so he doesn't have the problem with selfish pride. He is probably proud of his creation, being us, and I can feel him smiling at me. Like when one of my kids does something great and I think, wow he/she is really something.
Back to God's love. It really is hard to comprehend how much God loves us and why he even does. We are broken and messed up and aren't even his blood relative yet he has offered us an equal place in his family and his unconditional love. Adoption is the closest earthly comparison for me. Going through the paper process was one thing, but actually having Steevie here is another. It gives me an even greater understanding of God's love.
I had many thoughts that would run through my head about what it would be like when we brought Steeven home. Would it be instant love, would the kids do all right together, would he be accepting of us, would he even like me, would I be willing to parent him like he needs or not want to make him sad? When we met Steeven in the airport I must say that none of these thoughts went through my head, it was like he was finally with us and life was continuing on without really missing a beat. He loved us, responded to us and the feeling was very mutual. When the kids met each other there was a short time of just realizing that he was actaully here, after over two years of them being dedicated to praying for him it was actually real now. Carter struggled some with what to do about Steeven's runny nose and eyes, but he got over that rather quickly. I would find myself wondering what they must be thinking and how they could just love him without being able to fully grasp what was happening. I think as adults we do think too much about things sometimes. Kids just "do" and it comes naturally. My prayer for myself I guess would be that God would help me in that area. I think waaaaaaaaay too much sometimes and it wastes a lot of my time.
Now to Steeven, what a kid! All that he has been through and experienced and yet I can see how in God's infinite wisdom Steeven has been prepared for all of this. God has given Steeven such a personality that he just rolls with the flow, so to speak. He was the only kid, or adult for that matter, where he lived that wasn't terrified of the earhtquake. That's right, he even liked it. He enjoyed his trip to Miami and has been enjoying things ever since. The only two things that are "bad" to him are the dog and the hospital. The dog is growing on him though. I did pray that God would be doing this, getting all of us ready for what was to come, and he is a faithful God who listens to his children. I am so thankful.
Now, having said all of this, I have to say that I am not going into this journey blindly. God does not tell us that when we follow where he leads us everything will go smoothly. Just look at Steeven's hospital experience and the families/income I have lost from daycare. I do know though, that God will see us through all of this and he knows what is yet to come.
Thank you God for your love and how you have shown us the importance of adoption as you have done it with us. What an example you have set for us! I am also thankful that you have given me a little glimpse of your love through the way we love Steeven, my son. Help us to be aware that how we live our lives is an example to others as well. Amen.
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Hair Dresser
Well I have added a "skill" to my mommy/wife resume: Hair Dresser. I don't think I really am qualified for this title, well I know I am not, but it has been added anyway. Today I cut all three boys' hair. Steeven's was the easiest because I can just shave it, but it was hard to watch the other two as their hair came falling off. Wade, of course, loves it, but I will just have to get use to it I guess. I am no Dawn, our hair dresser, but for a while my abilities will have to be good enough.
There is no way, however, that I will be cutting mine or the girls'. Thankfully we are all three letting ours grow so we don't have to go very often. Now, if I could just figure out how to do those darn eyebrows I would have it made!
There is no way, however, that I will be cutting mine or the girls'. Thankfully we are all three letting ours grow so we don't have to go very often. Now, if I could just figure out how to do those darn eyebrows I would have it made!
Saturday, March 20, 2010
Random Thoughts
I haven't blogged in a while so here are some random thoughts.
I worked out at the mall today and I still can't believe they give me a discount for the little amount of time I spend there. I'm sure it is because I am such a great employee :)! Abby asked me the other day why I work so much and if I like it. Part of what I told her is that I don't always like to work on the weekends, but after I get there I have a good time. I guess honesty is good, right" I figure that she will learn soon enough that you don't always want to do something, but sometimes you ahve to. This just shows how kids think in the moment and don't always see the big picture because I only work twice a month at the mall so it is not like I am gone all the time working, thankfully.
I had an Usborne book party at my house last night and it actually went really well. I had a huge guest list, even the consultant's husband commented on the number of people I invited because he mailed the cards for her. You know the rule they always tell you, over invite because a very small number actually show up, well it is true! I'm sure this gal will now use my party as an example of this. Oh well, as of last night I had earned $50 in free books and I still ahve some more orders coming in.
Carter has pink eye, ugh. Poor little guy, at lest he doesn't mind the drops. The wonderful doctor wouldn't give him a perscription for Sinus infection, and Wade said she didn't even check his nose, but said his ears look good, REALLY?! I vented to Wade of course and said, "Doesn't she know that the infection is what caused the pink eye, just like Jordyn, and if we don't treat the real problem what's the point?" He agreed and we have moved on, it might not sound like it, but I have moved on.
Wade and the kids are outside playing and Wade just came in and asked about Dakota Vision's warranty. Why you ask? Good question, that would be due to the fact that Steeven's glasses must have fallen off and he then ran them over with his bike. Wade told me he came in the garage and the frames were bent and the lenses, still in one piece, were in different parts of the garage! Now Steeven is squinting at everything and of course Dakota Vision closed at 1:00 today and do not open again until Monday.
Speaking of Steeven riding a bike, he really does! With training wheels, but still he loves the bike. The only problem is that he also tries to ride the bigger kids' bikes, always up for a challenge he is. He is loving this weather and the fact that he can be outside. We are too!
I worked out at the mall today and I still can't believe they give me a discount for the little amount of time I spend there. I'm sure it is because I am such a great employee :)! Abby asked me the other day why I work so much and if I like it. Part of what I told her is that I don't always like to work on the weekends, but after I get there I have a good time. I guess honesty is good, right" I figure that she will learn soon enough that you don't always want to do something, but sometimes you ahve to. This just shows how kids think in the moment and don't always see the big picture because I only work twice a month at the mall so it is not like I am gone all the time working, thankfully.
I had an Usborne book party at my house last night and it actually went really well. I had a huge guest list, even the consultant's husband commented on the number of people I invited because he mailed the cards for her. You know the rule they always tell you, over invite because a very small number actually show up, well it is true! I'm sure this gal will now use my party as an example of this. Oh well, as of last night I had earned $50 in free books and I still ahve some more orders coming in.
Carter has pink eye, ugh. Poor little guy, at lest he doesn't mind the drops. The wonderful doctor wouldn't give him a perscription for Sinus infection, and Wade said she didn't even check his nose, but said his ears look good, REALLY?! I vented to Wade of course and said, "Doesn't she know that the infection is what caused the pink eye, just like Jordyn, and if we don't treat the real problem what's the point?" He agreed and we have moved on, it might not sound like it, but I have moved on.
Wade and the kids are outside playing and Wade just came in and asked about Dakota Vision's warranty. Why you ask? Good question, that would be due to the fact that Steeven's glasses must have fallen off and he then ran them over with his bike. Wade told me he came in the garage and the frames were bent and the lenses, still in one piece, were in different parts of the garage! Now Steeven is squinting at everything and of course Dakota Vision closed at 1:00 today and do not open again until Monday.
Speaking of Steeven riding a bike, he really does! With training wheels, but still he loves the bike. The only problem is that he also tries to ride the bigger kids' bikes, always up for a challenge he is. He is loving this weather and the fact that he can be outside. We are too!
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